Profoundly thankful.

Today, all day, I have been in a deeply grateful mood. I woke up feeling overwhelmingly thankful for the things that were in front of me: my husband, the warm blankets on my bed, the snow outside my window … and it continued throughout the day as blessings piled up: I got to lie in bed for a few hours and read and sip coffee in the morning stillness. A very exciting package showed up on my doorstep before it was due to arrive. A party I attend this morning that I expected to be stressful (due to the nature of the thing itself, not those involved) turned out to be relaxed. When I got home, B and I made pancakes with marmalade and maple syrup, then watched Sherlock for hours. I got phone calls from loved ones sharing good news. It had been grey all day, but then sun came out, and I got to sit in it for a little while. Parts that B ordered for his motorcycle came in the mail, and he’s downstairs singing at the top of his lungs and clanking away on the bike—happy sounds. He may have it running tonight, which would be a) incredible timing since his primary vehicle needs to be parked for a few weeks for some intensive work and b) exciting for him, which makes me glad.

It’s not unusual for me to be in a thankful mood. To combat depression, and also because I know the sting of loss, I very frequently pause to say thanks or just let the good things around me sink in. I know I don’t talk about that very much—I don’t because gratitude is a very powerful emotion for me, and that makes it feel very private and hard to share. But although I do practice being thankful as much as I can, I’m not really sure exactly why I woke up feeling so full this morning. Maybe it was a good night’s sleep, or residual joy from the blessings of the week. It doesn’t really matter—the important part is that today, I am overflowing.