Hrmph.

It’s 12:15, and I am starving, yet once again, I have forgotten to bring lunch to work. This absentmindedness is indicative of the fact that there are things going on with me internally that are not as they should be … as is the fact that I spent most of Saturday and Sunday in bed with heart palpitations.

But to the matter at hand: do I 1) go get myself a very nice salad with a bit of free-range, organic chicken and a side of soup with lovely whole grains for $16, 2) go to Subway and buy a sub-standard veggie sandwich for $5 (spending more gas money, because it’s more of a drive), or 3) eat the very unhealthy, leftover crap that is in our work kitchen for $0. My body wants option #1, my wallet wants option #3, and #2 seems like an unappealing compromise.

On the one hand, if I spend money today, I will be that much more aware of my need to pack lunch for the rest of the week. On the other, we’re working towards a specific goal financially, and my buying a more pricey lunch doesn’t help us. On the other hand, I’ve been feeling wretched, and eating something that doesn’t do my body and favors … doesn’t do my body any favors. I would run home to grab food, if I had anything grab-able.

This debate will likely continue in my head for the next 20+ minutes until the low blood sugar takes over and I randomly make a decision or force one of my coworkers to decide for me.

It’s complicated up in here, people.