Simplify and spend out.
I over complicate things and accumulate clutter in my life, both out of anxiety. What if I’m not doing enough? What if I need this thing? Whatifwhatifwhatif?
I’ve been demanding a lot of myself since I left full time work, in part because I’m afraid of being that person that leaves a day job to pursue their dreams and ends up sitting on their ass instead. So not only have I been figuring out how to run a business, I’ve also been trying to make everything from scratch (from bread to pickles to jam to furniture and household cleaner)—ostensibly to improve my health and budget. I’m trying to maintain a vegetable garden and make bone broth weekly and test new recipes all the time. Too much, guys.
I’ve also been hanging on to stuff, in spite of my decluttering attempts, because I don’t want to find myself without something I need but can’t afford to replace. So I keep every sample this-that-and-the-other, wash glass and plastic food containers to reuse (when I already have plenty) and hang on to anything with a perceived resale value.
I don’t have time to be running and eBay store or acting out a Little House kind of a scenario. I talked to my therapist yesterday about creating space in my life and thoughtfully filling it, rather than manically stuffing things into it out of guilt or fear. I need to get life to a more easily functioning place and learn what it needs to look like now in light of all the changes before I figure out where I should be growing and adding in new things.
In light of that, I’m planning to do a lot less cooking for us. Salads and healthy little or no cooking options from the natural grocery all the way. I’m planning not to have houseguests until our house feels more organized and decluttered, which I will work on in stages as I have energy. I’m not going to obsess over the garden. I will continue with composting and recycling, because those are easy and help with organization, but I put the sourdough starter and kefir in the fridge and the SCOBYs in a dark cabinet. I may be up to the occasional lacto-fermented something, but nothing that requires a schedule right now. Other than routine things like cleaning and laundry that have to get done, and time for prayer and devotions, I’m trying not to schedule anything on a daily basis apart from work.
We’ll see how keeping it simple works. First time for everything, right?