Shot in the arm.
Going to the farmer’s market was EXACTLY what I needed with my heart feeling all bruised after the past week. Friendly, kind hearts? Check. Bountiful fruit and veg? Check. Beautiful, earth goddess-type mama farmers with free hugs and flowers and herbs? Check. Gifts of coffee, a giant bag of green beans, handmade soaps and the last of summer’s tomatoes? Check. My friend Suzanna telling me that she’s been making my recipes for her “aging mindfully” women’s group and said those recipes are now being sent around the world to these ladies’ friends and family members because they’re so darn good? Check. Another farmer mama friend telling me she marvels at my gifts and creative brain and she thinks the way that I’m exploring life and a new business and putting myself out there is so courageous? Check. Also cue big sloppy tears.
I love these people so much. Their warmth and open-hearted love was just the best thing for my soul today.
To make me happy:
Make me coffee
Bring me coffee
Peace and rest.
This weekend, seeking tranquillity and Sabbath rest has looked like:
- Some light cleaning. Nearly my only personal goal for myself right now is to keep up with the basics: dishes, folding laundry, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming (with B’s involvement, obviously), eating a good meal. I try to go to bed with a clear kitchen counter and having had one thoughtfully prepared, vegetable-rich meal each day.
- B doing the grocery shopping for me.
- Coming home from my trip to the cove to rest in bed until I had the energy to take a walk with B. (The interview went fairly well; we’ll see how things progress.)
- Walking down to the brewery with the dog to have a couple of pints and chat with friends.
- Quiet walk home and ordering diner food at midnight.
- Both of us falling asleep on the couch worn out by the busy weekend, warm nighted walk and full bellies.
- Truly, truly resting and abstaining from work related thoughts and duties and emails today.
- Dreaming about how to convert the spare bedroom into my office/a more functional guest room space.
- Top Gear (the one with Benedict Cumberbatch).
I take it as a sign of my good mental health that all these little things are getting done more regularly. When I’m not in a good headspace, routine things like unloading the dishwasher or folding towels make me feel like crying. I think I am finally inching my life toward a place where I can function peacefully and consistently, versus trying to force myself to function differently in order to have a kind of life that I think that I should aspire to.